By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler

We’re kicking this week off with a little somethin’ that’s happening behind the scenes but bothersome. Bravo put baby in a corner. And by baby, we mean the Atlanta Housewives. And by corner, we mean Monday night. OMG! Why do the ladies on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills get to bask in a regularly-scheduled Thursday night slot? They’re richer, but far less quotable and cool. Bravo, we’ll take boughetto over boring and wealthy any day. But we’d prefer that day to be Thursdays, with the ladies who can really bring it.

Cynthia’s personality finally arrives this week. Did it take that long to get here from New York? She and Peter head up to the Steeplechase with Phaedra and Dwight. Is Dwight her only friend? And how much is she paying him to hang around? The Steeplechase crew sports attitude and style.  Cynthia scores giggle points, referring to Phaedra and Dwight as the “black Tammy Faye Baker and Willy Wonka.” Thank you Cynthia and welcome to the show. Good job helping Peter keep things clean this week by not giving Phaedra a taste of her own medicine.

Our mouths are still hanging open at the boughetto spectacle of Phaedra’s baby shower. When is rose bush in a weave classy? It’s pretty clear that what Phaedra is really missing are some real girlfriends.  Not merely female attendees to fill the room at her shower, but someone to hold a mirror up to her bad behavior.  This is clearly not Apollo or her BFF Dwight. (Will he be complaining about how much money he spent on her baby shower next season?) Pretty is as pretty does, and no amount of ballerinas or ballroom dancing can distract from Phaedra’s holier than thou attitude. Odd to have such an over the top, feminine shower to celebrate the impending birth of a boy . . . maybe Phaedra is hoping for a baby Dwight who can do her bidding and tell Dad what kind of gifts to buy? This is a woman who is on a reality show with a husband who knows a lot about harsh realities, yet she’s living in a world all her own.

Looks like an expensive week in NeNe land as she goes for multiple plastic surgery procedures. The most revealing thing about NeNe’s visit to the hospital wasn’t her new nose or the fact that she wouldn’t discuss her nose surgery with her surgeon on camera, but the absence of her husband. Despite of the hilarity of one of Atlanta’s most quotable women being heavily medicated, it was difficult to watch her ask for her absent husband repeatedly and worse to watch him never show up. Smaller breasts, smaller nose, smaller belly, and zero Gregg.

After scoping for young hotties at the gym with her trainer, Shereé joins The Love “Doctor” for a seminar meant to enlighten women on the “25 Reasons Why He Won’t Marry You and 5 Ways to Make Him Say I Do”.  (Um, that’s still 20 reasons why he won’t marry you.) Luckily for Tiy-E Muhammad, it doesn’t take an actual degree to come up with winning tips for women, such as:

1) Don’t look so fly that your man can’t get with you and then have you cook and wash the dishes

2) Be a good listener and keep your opinion to yourself

3) Don’t open your own ketchup

4) Look for a good man at Payless

Here’s some better advice for women – don’t pay for bad seminars by the low-rent Dr. Phil.  You’ve got to hand it to Shereé and her comebacks. We ain’t sayin’ she a gold-digger… luckily, Shereé says it for us. The Love Doctor then invites Shereé for a homemade dinner at his house when their schedules permit.  We’re hoping Shereé can’t find the time.

It was Meet the Parents week with Kim, where we see her interacting with her mom and dad. Her parents seem surprisingly OK with her lifestyle, even though they nickname her “Miss Fame Over Family.” As uncomfortable as that is, Dad Joe seems like he’s happy to have a camera around – and as happy smoking and drinking as Kim. Mom Karen is focused on problem solving, but to us her solution to find a church to confirm Kim’s youngest daughter is worse than the problem.

Mom wants Big Poppa to call in a favor … at a church they don’t even attend. Big Poppa’s not a priest, but it seems like they expect miracles? Know what else is miraculous? How many times Big Poppa – who is still legally married – and Kim have resurrected their relationship. Please, this romance with Big Poppa is really just a deep love for his money, no matter how Kim tries to spin it. Dad was protective of who Kim dated when she was younger. We guess that’s no longer the case.

In a typical exchange, Kim goes to see Kandi to discuss her “music” and finds Kandi hard at work on her own album, trying to decide what songs to release. It’s ironic that the song Kandi wants to send to Sandra Bullock and Elin Woods would also be a good track to share with Big Poppa’s wife.  This goes over Kim’s head, of course, who turns the conversation back to herself, her love of country music and a possible new song inspired by a conversation with Jimmy Kimmel. We’re sure many of the greatest country singers base their songs on a visit to the Jimmy Kimmel Show – note to Taylor Swift.

When Kandi’s asks Kim to sing, Kim doesn’t deliver, as usual. Here’s a tip: when Bravo starts playing their version of the Jeopardy theme song, the producers are mocking the action. Kandi’s right when she says that Kim is the only singer who doesn’t really want to sing.  And, Kim doesn’t seem to know what to do next with her “career” if it doesn’t involve Kandi or Jimmy Kimmel figuring it out for her. At least this time, Kandi is smart enough to want to get paid first. Since things with Big Poppa are back on, maybe Kim can afford to be more generous this time around.

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.

12 replies on “Real Housewives of Atlanta: Boughetto, but not boring”

  1. This season the Real Housewives seem to be on a mission to see who can be the cattiest. Re: the Tye E Muhammad thing, is this really what he said? Here’s my take.

    1) Don’t look so fly that your man can’t get with you and then have you cook and wash the dishes. Interpretation-Even though you are looking fly allow your man to get with you. Don’t be so pre-occupied with messing up your nails that you don’t want to cook or wash the dishes for fear that you’ll mess up the nail job.

    2) Be a good listener and keep your opinion to yourself-that one went over my head

    3) Don’t open your own ketchup-Allow your man to open jars etc. for you.

    4) Look for a good man at Payless-If you happen to be in Payless and a clerk wants to talk to you would you allow him to talk to you?

  2. This season the Real Housewives seem to be on a mission to see who can be the cattiest. Re: the Tye E Muhammad thing, is this really what he said? Here’s my take.

    1) Don’t look so fly that your man can’t get with you and then have you cook and wash the dishes. Interpretation-Even though you are looking fly allow your man to get with you. Don’t be so pre-occupied with messing up your nails that you don’t want to cook or wash the dishes for fear that you’ll mess up the nail job.

    2) Be a good listener and keep your opinion to yourself-that one went over my head

    3) Don’t open your own ketchup-Allow your man to open jars etc. for you.

    4) Look for a good man at Payless-If you happen to be in Payless and a clerk wants to talk to you would you allow him to talk to you?

  3. Phaedra’s roses…such a bad idea. She should have given Dwayne the roses and snatched his tiara while he was getting his makeup done for the event. I am loving Cynthia, she kept me laughing during this disaster called a baby shower. Cynthia’s boyfriend really has a lot of patience in not going off on Phaedra due to her pregnancy. Phaedra’s comments about a “clean man” obviously insulted him. Bless him for having the sense not to tell her about herself. I am looking forward to someone finally doing this at a more appropriate time. She was married in November, 2009 and had a baby boy in May 2010, full term. So much for her sanctimonious upbringing she brags so much about. : )

  4. Phaedra’s roses…such a bad idea. She should have given Dwayne the roses and snatched his tiara while he was getting his makeup done for the event. I am loving Cynthia, she kept me laughing during this disaster called a baby shower. Cynthia’s boyfriend really has a lot of patience in not going off on Phaedra due to her pregnancy. Phaedra’s comments about a “clean man” obviously insulted him. Bless him for having the sense not to tell her about herself. I am looking forward to someone finally doing this at a more appropriate time. She was married in November, 2009 and had a baby boy in May 2010, full term. So much for her sanctimonious upbringing she brags so much about. : )

  5. THIS NENE SOUNDS LIKE A NICE LADY WHO SHOULD HAVE A STRONG MALE IN HER LIFE I WISH IT WAS ME I WOULD TREAT HER REAL NICE AND GIVE HER THE RESPECT SHE DESERVES AND THE LOVES SHE NEEDS. SHE ALSO HAS PRETTY HAIR.

  6. THIS NENE SOUNDS LIKE A NICE LADY WHO SHOULD HAVE A STRONG MALE IN HER LIFE I WISH IT WAS ME I WOULD TREAT HER REAL NICE AND GIVE HER THE RESPECT SHE DESERVES AND THE LOVES SHE NEEDS. SHE ALSO HAS PRETTY HAIR.

  7. Phaedra girl your makeup is flawless in other words (BEAUTY) stop bragging some much.kim it sounds like you might have a little voice.stop screwing up G.dont have my girl looking bad,because she should leave you on the back burner in other words peace OUT. NE NE girl i bet any one could have a nice time being around you, you seem REAL.but lets get something straight, stop hitting on Cynthia man.everyone knows you want him.including Cynthia,why you think she made that contract.and Cynthia i know deep down you know that the man you are planning on marriaging NOT. AINT GONNA HAPPIEND.he aint your type cant you see.already trying to control you.pass that one Girl. and stop treating your sister like crap,its obvious that she is getting tired of your silliness,but hey she needs $$ too.how far will she go.

  8. Phaedra girl your makeup is flawless in other words (BEAUTY) stop bragging some much.kim it sounds like you might have a little voice.stop screwing up G.dont have my girl looking bad,because she should leave you on the back burner in other words peace OUT. NE NE girl i bet any one could have a nice time being around you, you seem REAL.but lets get something straight, stop hitting on Cynthia man.everyone knows you want him.including Cynthia,why you think she made that contract.and Cynthia i know deep down you know that the man you are planning on marriaging NOT. AINT GONNA HAPPIEND.he aint your type cant you see.already trying to control you.pass that one Girl. and stop treating your sister like crap,its obvious that she is getting tired of your silliness,but hey she needs $$ too.how far will she go.

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