By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler

Kicking off this week’s episode, Kim visits a choreographer to prepare for performances during her upcoming bus-tour with Kandi. Kim is thinking about her continuing quest for musical stardom, but what IS Kandi thinking? Despite Kim’s claims that she has 16 years of dance experience, she has a hard time with even the simplest moves. Walking and chewing gum is probably difficult for her, too. Ever the narcissist, Kim’s more interested in her reflection and wig to pay much attention to her well-meaning instructor and assistant.

Practicing is overrated?  All work and no play always seem to make Kim feel like a dull girl, and she’s quickly over it. Plus, according to Kim, when she gets on stage, she goes into a zone, so she doesn’t really need the help. Less like a zone and more like zoning out, but here is betting her performances keep providing plenty of fodder.

Shereé continues to work on her acting “craft” and decides to accept a small, unpaid role in a local, independent production of Child Support Man and also gets a call from the owner of The People Store who has decided to represent her. She manages to muster up more enthusiasm for these opportunities this week, and is also sure to line up Lawrence to do her hair for her unpaid gig, probably as part of her “preparation”. Delusion seems to be the name of the game this week, with Shereé wanting to show her friends and agent that her presence draws crowds.

Though we didn’t get to see much of the play, which was performed at The Soul Factory Theater, it was heartening to see a crowd lining up for seats for the new production. The attitudes of the housewives in attendance, however, were not as encouraging. They seemed bored, played with their phones, and Cynthia even made a cheap shot about the Chitlin Circuit being a long way from Broadway. Even a lack of support for Shereé’s performance doesn’t explain the callous attitudes. The housewives, who understand more than anyone that all the world’s a stage, could have shown a little more respect for the other performers and talented people behind the scenes.

Dwight, dressed up like Willy Wonka, goes to Phaedra’s house to meet baby Ayden and catch up with the new mom. Talk quickly moves to the other housewives and Dwight stirs the pot, telling Phaedra about the gossip over her baby’s due date and erroneously attributing some of Kim’s comments to Cynthia. Escandalo! When Cynthia and Phaedra run into each other later in the episode, Phaedra conveniently deflects further questions about her delivery date by accusing Cynthia of making disparaging remarks about her son. Cynthia tells Phaedra to check her sources, but decides not to call Kim out on her remarks … for now. Really all Phaedra’s got to check is the tape. It’s all there, thanks to Bravo.

We cut back to Kim because there’s a lot of irony unfolding like an old Pizza Hut napkin at her house when she hosts a physical improvement treatment for the ladies. We see only Kim take advantage of the “science” involved in red laser removal of cellulite. During the procedure, Kim is able to a) show off her body in a bikini while b) she eats a pizza.  This is such a perfectly ridiculous illustration of Kim and the women in all of the Housewives shows in general. When in doubt, invite the “experts” over for a lazy fix. Can that laser contraption be for real? If it is, we’d like our editor to buy us some sessions for Christmas. And were those disco lights moving along Kim’s body or is Bravo doing a cross-promotion with TRON? We love and appreciate science but don’t quite believe the assertion that a red light laser “makes the fat leak out of the cells.” First off, gross. And second, chicanery.

While at Kim’s house, Cynthia apologizes to NeNe for her lack of contact over the past few weeks and proposes a “friend contract” to NeNe. Like, literally a paper contract. We hadn’t been reminded of them since elementary school either. It involves answers that include, “yes, no and maybe.”  And as awkward as it sounds – and is – it’s also really sweet. Cynthia clearly has commitment issues, just ask Peter or any of her other ex-fiancées. So maybe this is a cheeky way of highlighting and moving past them.

Unfortunately, NeNe checks the YES box on Cynthia’s contract. While NeNe acts like a friend in front of Cynthia, she gabs and laughs about the contract later with Kim. Sometimes, it’s hard to decide if NeNe is a friend or just a mean girl. In this situation, we say mean girl and have noticed that NeNe and Kim are never closer than when they can be mean girls together. (Each with their own bottle of wine at lunch, no less.) Certainly, this is not our favorite NeNe character trait. NeNe and most housewives who understand the franchise know they can extend the buzz of a 20 second conversation into hours worth of drama, and most importantly, camera time. NeNe is doing just that, and sadly at Cynthia’s expense. First rule of Friendship Contract: do not make fun of Friendship Contract.

On the ok-we-understand side, NeNe is going through a time where her marriage contract has clearly been breached. And Cynthia is finally open enough to enter into a contract of her own with Peter. Both NeNe and Cynthia are experiencing big change, but in different directions. Maybe the 2nd rule of Friendship Contract will help: DO NOT make fun of Friendship Contract.

On Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live after show hosted by Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper brings NeNe a friendship contract of his own.  It’s silly … not to mention it’s a breach of the 5th rule of Friendship Contract: only one Friendship Contract at a time. But we’ll let Anderson slide, since it’s a sincere show of his appreciation for NeNe. Cynthia’s contract should be seen as just as complimentary. As in, they’re both her boo.

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.

16 replies on “Real Housewives of Atlanta: The mirror has two faces”

  1. I WOULD SIGN A CONTRACT WITH NE NE. SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HE DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND CLEARLY NONE OF THE OTHER HOUSEWIVES ARE DOING THAT SO THEY ALL NEED TO SIGN CONTRACTS THAT SAY THEY WILL RESPECT HER OR ELSE. THE FAT LASERS ARE REAL I THINK I SAW THEM IN A MOVIE WHERE PEOPLE HAD LASERS COMING OUT OF THEM AND THEY WERE ALL PRETTY AND DIDN’T HAVE FAT LEGS LIKE KIM DOES. FAT LEGS ARE REALLY GROSS BUT EVERYONE LIKES TO BE AT PIZZA CLUB WHERE YOU EAT PIZZA AND TALK ABOUT COOL STUFF. I TAPED THIS EPISODE ON MY NEW TAPE (THAT USED TO HAVE OLD EPISODES OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT ON IT- THE ONES WITH BOB BARKER HE IS SO MUCH BETTER THEN THE NEW GUY) CAUSE GILL LEEDLEWATER STILL DID NOT BRING MY OLD TAPE BACK AND NOW THE ORDER IS ALL MESSED UP AND ITS RUINED. I HATE WHEN STUFF GETS RUINED. DO YOU GUYS THINK NE NE WILL GET HER OWN SHOW SOON? I THINK SHE IS LIKE OPRAH BUT WAY BETTER THEN OPRAH CAUSE OPRAH SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS FAT LEGS AND NEEDS TO BE LASERED.

  2. I WOULD SIGN A CONTRACT WITH NE NE. SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HE DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND CLEARLY NONE OF THE OTHER HOUSEWIVES ARE DOING THAT SO THEY ALL NEED TO SIGN CONTRACTS THAT SAY THEY WILL RESPECT HER OR ELSE. THE FAT LASERS ARE REAL I THINK I SAW THEM IN A MOVIE WHERE PEOPLE HAD LASERS COMING OUT OF THEM AND THEY WERE ALL PRETTY AND DIDN’T HAVE FAT LEGS LIKE KIM DOES. FAT LEGS ARE REALLY GROSS BUT EVERYONE LIKES TO BE AT PIZZA CLUB WHERE YOU EAT PIZZA AND TALK ABOUT COOL STUFF. I TAPED THIS EPISODE ON MY NEW TAPE (THAT USED TO HAVE OLD EPISODES OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT ON IT- THE ONES WITH BOB BARKER HE IS SO MUCH BETTER THEN THE NEW GUY) CAUSE GILL LEEDLEWATER STILL DID NOT BRING MY OLD TAPE BACK AND NOW THE ORDER IS ALL MESSED UP AND ITS RUINED. I HATE WHEN STUFF GETS RUINED. DO YOU GUYS THINK NE NE WILL GET HER OWN SHOW SOON? I THINK SHE IS LIKE OPRAH BUT WAY BETTER THEN OPRAH CAUSE OPRAH SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS FAT LEGS AND NEEDS TO BE LASERED.

  3. I tried that laser machine once. I think the wrong cells leaked out, because I used to be a man. Sheree’s “craft”, alien babies and fat burning lasers, it’s all too awesome. Keep it going Bravo, the trainwreck is almost at the station!

  4. I tried that laser machine once. I think the wrong cells leaked out, because I used to be a man. Sheree’s “craft”, alien babies and fat burning lasers, it’s all too awesome. Keep it going Bravo, the trainwreck is almost at the station!

  5. Ladies,,, and I mean (Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler) best laugh, I’ve had in a long time.. I’m glad your writting for Atlanta Intown, but you should also be on staff at Bravo,, ’cause,, girls you got it going on! Best recap I’ve read in a long time,, move over Andy Cohen (you maybe my hot gay man – of course first comes my partner then Anderson Cooper, so that makes you third in line, sunshine)… but these girls have got it going on,,, and let me remind you, I don’t me the “Real” / Fake Housewives of Atlanta.
    The “Real: Housewives of Atlanta are a HOT MESS. If it wasn’t for Bravo,, I think only one of them would have a job. And, how they continue to remain the representatives of Atlanta is beyond me,, Kasim should take note and write a law or something,, because that is every bit of WRONG. WAIT!,, None of them live in Atlanta,, let’s protest.

  6. Ladies,,, and I mean (Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler) best laugh, I’ve had in a long time.. I’m glad your writting for Atlanta Intown, but you should also be on staff at Bravo,, ’cause,, girls you got it going on! Best recap I’ve read in a long time,, move over Andy Cohen (you maybe my hot gay man – of course first comes my partner then Anderson Cooper, so that makes you third in line, sunshine)… but these girls have got it going on,,, and let me remind you, I don’t me the “Real” / Fake Housewives of Atlanta.
    The “Real: Housewives of Atlanta are a HOT MESS. If it wasn’t for Bravo,, I think only one of them would have a job. And, how they continue to remain the representatives of Atlanta is beyond me,, Kasim should take note and write a law or something,, because that is every bit of WRONG. WAIT!,, None of them live in Atlanta,, let’s protest.

  7. Dwight, dressed up like Willy Wonka,

    Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three,,OK make it six..

    “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of “PURE IMAGINATION”, make a wish and you’ll see into their imaganation, we’ll begining with a spin traveling in a world of their creatio and, what we’ll see will define explation.

    If you want to view craziness, just sit in front of your t.v. and view it. Anything you want to do, want to change reality and makes other believe it.. just do it… there’s nothing to it, there’s is no life I know to compare to this utter nonsense as its “Pure Imagination”, living there you’ll be free to change it to suit your needs, if you truly need it to be…

    If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it..anything you want to make the viewers see,,want to change the world,, there’s nothing to it..just simply do it..

    There is no life I know,,to compare to this utter nonesense, “Pure Imaginiation.. living there you will be free if you truly wish to be… Come with me and you’ll see… its Pure Imaginiation”..

  8. Dwight, dressed up like Willy Wonka,

    Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three,,OK make it six..

    “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of “PURE IMAGINATION”, make a wish and you’ll see into their imaganation, we’ll begining with a spin traveling in a world of their creatio and, what we’ll see will define explation.

    If you want to view craziness, just sit in front of your t.v. and view it. Anything you want to do, want to change reality and makes other believe it.. just do it… there’s nothing to it, there’s is no life I know to compare to this utter nonsense as its “Pure Imagination”, living there you’ll be free to change it to suit your needs, if you truly need it to be…

    If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it..anything you want to make the viewers see,,want to change the world,, there’s nothing to it..just simply do it..

    There is no life I know,,to compare to this utter nonesense, “Pure Imaginiation.. living there you will be free if you truly wish to be… Come with me and you’ll see… its Pure Imaginiation”..

  9. cyntheia need to realize that nene is not her friend she nene just wants to get closer to her man Peter not her and she need to think twice about marrying him he seem to be to controling over her since he gave her a ring.

  10. cyntheia need to realize that nene is not her friend she nene just wants to get closer to her man Peter not her and she need to think twice about marrying him he seem to be to controling over her since he gave her a ring.

  11. CNDY YOU ARE WRONG. NE NE IS NICE AND BEAUTIFUL AND WOULD NEVER BE WITH A LOSER LIKE PETER. SHE DESERVES MUCH BETTER THEN THAT AND EVEN THOUGH THAT RING WAS REALLY NICE I AM NOT SURE IF IT MEANS THAT THE MAN CAN CONTROL THE LADY WHEN THEY GET MARRIED. I ASKED MY BISHOP ABOUT IT AND HE TOLD ME THE LADY SHOULD LISTEN TO THE MAN BUT THE MAN SHOULD NEVER TELL THE LADY TO DO ANYTHING SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO. IT SEEMED CONFUSING TO ME BUT THAT IS WHY I HAVEN’T BEEN MARRIED YET.

  12. CNDY YOU ARE WRONG. NE NE IS NICE AND BEAUTIFUL AND WOULD NEVER BE WITH A LOSER LIKE PETER. SHE DESERVES MUCH BETTER THEN THAT AND EVEN THOUGH THAT RING WAS REALLY NICE I AM NOT SURE IF IT MEANS THAT THE MAN CAN CONTROL THE LADY WHEN THEY GET MARRIED. I ASKED MY BISHOP ABOUT IT AND HE TOLD ME THE LADY SHOULD LISTEN TO THE MAN BUT THE MAN SHOULD NEVER TELL THE LADY TO DO ANYTHING SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO. IT SEEMED CONFUSING TO ME BUT THAT IS WHY I HAVEN’T BEEN MARRIED YET.

  13. MrP, I am sorry about your VHS tape. I do have it but have had a troubling time this past few weeks. I threw my back out at work when I slipped on a stray gizzard. They have me on all kinds of weird goofballs here at the hospital but good news is that they have TVs. Weird but all they get is Bravo channel so I have been keeping up with the goings-on. I do not think those lazers work at all. My cousin tried one once and no fat leaked out of her double chins and now she has three chins. But sometimes I think she has other leaks but she makes me swear not to tell people about those. Also she kind of smells like curry but am not sure that has to do with the lazers. This friendship contract sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can do a threeway contract between NEne, MrP, and me. That would make me happy. Like when I watch this video on that utube webpage where the baby monkey rides backwards on the pig. I watch it alot when I am feeling sad. I watch it maybe 100 times a day. Sometimes more.

  14. MrP, I am sorry about your VHS tape. I do have it but have had a troubling time this past few weeks. I threw my back out at work when I slipped on a stray gizzard. They have me on all kinds of weird goofballs here at the hospital but good news is that they have TVs. Weird but all they get is Bravo channel so I have been keeping up with the goings-on. I do not think those lazers work at all. My cousin tried one once and no fat leaked out of her double chins and now she has three chins. But sometimes I think she has other leaks but she makes me swear not to tell people about those. Also she kind of smells like curry but am not sure that has to do with the lazers. This friendship contract sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can do a threeway contract between NEne, MrP, and me. That would make me happy. Like when I watch this video on that utube webpage where the baby monkey rides backwards on the pig. I watch it alot when I am feeling sad. I watch it maybe 100 times a day. Sometimes more.

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