Gary Busey fired from Celebrity Apprentice

By Collin Kelley

Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice began with Gary Busey’s triumphant return to the Trump Tower suite after The Donald fired Mark McGrath. The remaining men on team Backbone crumbled, while the women of team ASAP hooted and hollered. The women smell blood in the water and think the men are done for at this point.

This week’s two hour infomercial came courtesy of Omaha Steaks. Each team was tasked with creating a live cooking demo using the various meats and seafood available from the company. The men made Busey project manager, while Playboy Playmate Hope Whateverherlastnameis was picked for the ladies. Cue Star Jones to take over and make all decisions.

“It doesn’t matter who the project manager is because you’re always co-manager with Star,” NeNe said, ramping up more tension for the big fight she’s supposed to have with Star this season.

The women got their act together pretty quickly, and it was decided La Toya, NeNe and Star would handle the cooking segments while Hope was the host. La Toya had never cooked anything before (“We grew up with personal chefs,” La Toya said, “but I’ve cooked an egg!”) and NeNe rolled her eyes 180 degrees back into her skull.

“For a woman to say I don’t know how to cook is crazy to me. Do you live in America? That’s what we do — eat hamburgers,” NeNe said.

When Toy finally put her burgers on the grill, they caught on fire sending flames toward the ceiling. “She’s trying to do the Michael Jackson on me,” was NeNe’s response, in reference to Michael setting his hair on fire in the ’80s during a Pepsi commercial shoot. In case you hadn’t noticed, they always cut to NeNe for a response because she’s got a one-liner about EVERYTHING.

Over at Backbone, the men were at their wit’s end with Busey, who had decided Meat Loaf should be the chef (despite the fact that he didn’t know how to cook) and had a run in with John Rich (who was convinced Busey was a “sabateour” and putting on the crazy act), who Busey referred to as “boy” a few times and wounded Rich’s masculine pride. Lil Jon, wisely, tried to stay in the shadows, asking Ivanka Trump, who came to check on the men’s progress, to get him out of there. Busey had cooked up some spiel about flying a kite with your dad on Father’s Day as part of their cooking demo. The men were already resigned to losing the task.

The ASAP cooking demo went off without a hitch, except maybe La Toya’s inability to speak above a whispery giggle, and the Backbone demo was better than it had any right to be despite Busey’s rambling kite story. It was a no-brainer for the Omaha Steak executives, though. ASAP won again and there was very little bitchery in the boardroom.

In the boardroom, The Donald  finally put the men’s team out of its misery and fired Busey. It was obvious that Busey should have been fired week’s ago, but The Donald apparently has a soft spot for Gary’s kind of crazy. Busey himself seems to have lucid moments where he realizes people think he’s a whack job (“I know a lot of people think there’s a village missing it’s idiot, but that’s not true – I have an eternal wealth of knowledge.”). As he was leaving, Busy was mumbling something about rainbows, kittens and maybe getting high. Whatever, baby, whatever.

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.