By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler

Well Atlanta, once again we are home to America’s most popular Housewives, according to Bravo’s ratings, that is. This may be a dubious honor, but at least it scored us a second episode this week, and many thanks to the show for featuring so many Intown businesses last night.

We begin at the taping of another episode of Kandi Koated Nights where Kandi and her merry band of co-hosts talk about sex and relationships. Kandi has invited new characters Marlo Hampton and Charles Grant onto her show to talk about how to hook and keep a “baller” (aka a professional athlete). Charles thinks women in Atlanta sell themselves short with professional athletes by rushing to the bedroom. He thinks they’d do better to conduct themselves like ladies, not hookers. We might advise young women out there to get an education and maybe more of a job than “professional athlete’s girlfriend” if they’re interested in being real “ladies”, but perhaps we’re suffering from too much self-esteem.

Charles also thinks Atlanta is a “pretend” city with people pretending to be what they’re not, a discussion that naturally leads to NeNe and the rumors of their relationship. Charles reiterates that he and NeNe never had a real relationship like the one he now has with Marlo. When Kandi asks Marlo how she earned her money, Marlo is coy, crediting “God” and “blessings”. The rumor is that this is also pretend, and Marlo had a more earthly old, white sugar-daddy to provide her riches. Marlo then tries to turn it back around on Kandi and question Kandi’s own financial success. When you’ve won a Grammy and ASCAP’s Songwriter of the Year award at just 24, it’s pretty obvious that your talent is your golden ticket.

Cynthia takes NeNe to Eclectic Gal Boutique in Southeast Atlanta to shop for some “vintage” clothes. NeNe doesn’t want to wear anything that someone else has had on their body first. We think the place looked packed with fabulous finds and can’t wait to visit, but we’re not, “VERY rich, bitch”. Cynthia brings up the recent Kandi Koated Nights webcast and the “did you or didn’t you” relationship discussion with Charles Grant. NeNe also confirms that she and Charles never had a relationship and is annoyed that it keeps coming up. All that “celebrity attention” is just what you get for appearing on Celebrity Apprentice, we guess.

Kim and Kroy bring home little Kroy Jagger, and Kim settles into life with a new baby, doing what every mother does – feedings, diaper changings (which she delegates to Kroy) and wig washings (which she delegates to Sweetie). Brielle is in full teenager mode and not particularly crazy about having a new baby around, especially a brother who hogs all of the attention. Kim is taken aback by Brielle’s selfishness. It seems Brielle is all about Brielle and what she wants and how she looks. That apple never falls far from the tree, does it? Brielle isn’t nearly as mad about the new baby as Chanel who has taken to peeing and pooping on the carpet since the baby arrived. But is it the new baby or those ridiculous hair bows that has Chanel so worked up?

Later we see Kandi meet up with a representative from OhMiBod vibrators to talk about her toy sex line and try out their wares . . . on her nose. (This is a family show, people.) The company makes vibrators with “good, strong motors”, and have already developed toys that vibrate to music. Kandi thinks there’s a natural opportunity for a partnership and all of the “happiness and joy” it will bring women everywhere.

Shereé and Phaedra are the episode’s central characters as they head to court to fight Bob Whitfield’s petition for modification of his child support payments. He claims his monthly salary has dropped from $20K when his child support payments were originally set to $3K in monthly income now, so he needs to pay less. Considering his payment history so far, he can’t pay less than the zero he’s already delivered, but he can continue to avoid paying anything by tying up his case with some sneaky legal maneuvers. So, Shereé officially hires Phaedra to take him on.

Phaedra does everything she can to get Shereé ready for her day in court including inviting Shereé over to pick out appropriate outfits for her appearance before the judge. Shereé arrives at Phaedra’s house driving a new Porsche and shuns the She by Shereé for Dolce. Phaedra advises it’s not a good idea to flash your money in front of a judge you’re appealing to for help collecting your child support payments. We’re not sure why Shereé doesn’t understand this concept, but then again, we’re not “VERY rich, bitch”. Phaedra, always a donkey bootie fanatic, also advises Shereé to leave that at home as well. There will be plenty of time to bring that bootie out at the club when they celebrate their victory.

Despite flashing her money around, Shereé isn’t forthcoming with Phaedra’s retainer check, and it takes multiple assistants from Phaedra’s office to collect it. This makes for a rocky start to things, especially with Shereé’s court appearance scheduled for the next day, and her reputation for not paying her legal fees in the past. Could a lack of payment be the real reason why Chateau Shereé continues to look like a sink-hole? We’d never accuse Shereé of being responsible with her money . . .

Court day is a rough one for Shereé who is having a hard time keeping it together enough to even finish her make-up before she leaves the house. Luckily, Phaedra calls at just the right time to check in. The pep talk Phaedra gives Shereé is worth every penny of her retainer and gets Shereé to the courthouse on time. Bob Whitfield shows up dressed “dead-beat-dad causal” and decides to represent himself. He also files a petition for contempt, claiming Shereé took furniture awarded to him in their divorce settlement and causing a delay in the proceedings.

By all accounts, Shereé and Bob had a drawn-out, contentious divorce and given some of Shereé’s behavior in the past, we’re sure it wasn’t all one-sided, but Bob Whitfield sticking his tongue out at his ex-wife in the courthouse like a five-year-old speaks VOLUMES about his inability to man up.

Shereé is shaken by the day and later at dinner with Phaedra and Kandi, she expresses her frustration with Phaedra for not anticipating Bob’s legal BS. Kandi can relate to Shereé’s frustration with Atlanta’s court system, which she thinks isn’t fair to women. Phaedra assures Shereé it’s all a process while reminding her that she advised Shereé multiple times to throw Bob in jail for his lack of child-support payments. Now that she knows how Bob’s going to play ball, isn’t it time for Shereé to trust Phaedra to write the playbook from now on? Our guess is there’s a lot more to come.

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.

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