Dad’s Garage Theatre is presenting the improv soap opera “Scandal” every Saturday night through Aug. 20. “Scandal” is set at a fictitious shopping mall in the Old Fourth Ward that’s on its last legs and its wacky denizens. As media sponsor for the event, INtown is posting a recap of the Saturday episodes.

Episode 9 began with a distraught Cynthia wanting to resolve her relationship issues with Oral Hanks. The only problem is that she now identifies as a lesbian, so Oral’s lizard-like skills of seduction will no longer work on her. Suddenly, the pair hear gunshots from across the mall. Oral, ever the gentleman, keeps Cynthia from running towards the chaos; however, he’s really too lazy to go over himself.

Lil Daisy recounts what her two weeks in prison to Violet Chummily, which she says was almost as bad as being in the mall. Daisy asks Violet, who is now a time traveler, if her parents are in the future. Violet says they are still looking for a present for her, but the wordplay is lost on Daisy. Frighteningly, Daisy reveals that she ate the heart of the person she killed in prison after learning how to make a shank. Yet, somehow, she was released back to the doomed Old Fourth Ward Mall.

Rosemary, unsure how to handle her new role as CHUD Queen, looks for a self help book for people in her position. David Davit (the bookstore owner) says he loaned the book to another store owner, but doesn’t name the reader. David says he knows that Rosemary has CHUD blood in her and that the other store owner had CHUD blood too… but who?

Oral Hanks walks in on Doctor Anomaly (the magic store owner, who in no way has a medical license) reading the CHUD book. Doc quickly stashes the book. Oral asks Doc if he can make a gun disappear, but the (possibly CHUD) Magic Doc Anomaly refuses.

David Davit points out that he must put on Chapstick before making any major decisions, but doesn’t explain why. Doctor Anomaly brings the CHUD book back, but says the book was useless. Doc says he’s raising a CHUD army for his master… “Drumpf!”

Cynthia comes to Doctor Anomaly looking to increase her newfound magic lesbian powers. She wants a magic chant to use against the CHUD, much to the chagrin of Doctor Anomaly, who is in bed (figuratively speaking) with the CHUD.

Lark Darkcastle, the arcade owner, feels like he has to take responsibility for Daisy’s evil actions, and he tells Daisy that her parents are underground with the CHUD. Lark has a change of heart and they decide to team up to kill all the CHUD and save Daisy’s parents.

Oral Hanks goes to David Davit’s bookstore because he wants a book on how to hide a gun. David reveals that his Chapstick is made of CHUD – it’s part of his plan to unite the CHUD and human races. David gives Oral the book, “How to Dissolve Wood and Metal for Dummies.” David sees all of Oral’s weapons and freaks out.

Lark Darkcastle gives Oral Hanks a case of fart spray that contains the acid he needs to melt the weapons. Suddenly, Lark breaks out into song about the blinding light of love while Rosemary and Violet join in the background. They sing about fighting for love and how fighting for love is fighting against the CHUD. It’s very moving.

Daisy and Cynthia find themselves at the edge of the Forbidden Zone. Cynthia says that the mall speaks to her and warns her not to go into the Forbidden Zone. She casts a spell over the CHUD, commanding them to give Daisy and her safe passage. Cynthia sees a vision of Daisy’s parents and tells her they can’t speak because they’ve become part of the CHUD culture. Cynthia promises she’ll summon the others to help fight the CHUD together.

Doc Anomaly tells Violet Chumsly that because she’s been in a time continuum from traveling to the future and back, Violet can’t die. Doc says he will bring back Horace, her dead husband, if she keeps telling everyone that they are going to die. It’s been his plan all along.

Doc says he’s too deep in with some bad guy but doesn’t say who—it’s been that guy’s plan all along for everyone to die. Violet says she can kill Doctor Anomaly so he can be free from his immortal bondage. David Davit might have a book so she can help him die.

Read the episode 8 recap at this link.

To purchase tickets and to find out more information about “Scandal,” visit dadsgarage.com. Dad’s Garage is located at 569 Ezzard St. in the Old Fourth Ward.

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.