Week 13, the penultimate episode of Scandal! The Mall Season, began with Chick-Fil-A kid Percy Goody returning to the mall with his new wife, Liddy. First stop, the Orange Julius counter where Julius was still struggling to concoct a drinkable smoothie. The couple revealed that they had come back to see a fertility expert, since they wanted to get pregnant.
The Commodore met Todd Farchel at the mall fountain, and wanted to ask the experienced father for tips that could help him with the twins. The Commodore’s deeply held hatred for the CHUD was upsetting to Todd and made him realize just how high a mountain he has to climb to regain his daughter.
Madame Swampass, brooding over a recent breakup, was drowning her sorrows in white wine and flaming hot Cheetos. She tried to get Oral Hanks to eat the Cheetos, revealing that she had hexed them to make the person who consumes them incredibly promiscuous.
Chugga Kingsford, King of the CHUDs, met with Dr. Anomaly to discuss his plans for the takeover of the mall… and then the world! The plans were centered around one of the twin babies, the one that was born to save the CHUDs. Dr. Anomaly, however, threw Chugga a curveball when he announced that he was no longer allied with the CHUDs and was going freelance evil.
Orange Julius came to The Commodore to apologize for his recent lapses in childcare coverage and to beg for another change. The Commodore was very upset, and scared to trust again. However, he had a 2 p.m. spin class at Curves he had to attend, so he relented and gave the twins to Julius.
Liddy Goody came to Madame Swampass to see if she could procure some sort of fertility hex to get herself pregnant. Swampass immediately made Liddy eat a ton of flaming hot Cheetos, and promised her if she had sex tonight, it would result in a baby.
Percy Goody, meanwhile, went to see Dr. Anomaly to inquire if there were any sort of “wiener pills” that could help him. After some questioning, Percy revealed he didn’t even know what his penis was for. Dr. Anomaly then launched into a detailed explanation that may or may not have been accurate.
Orange Julius was in the nursery with the twins, when suddenly Chugga appeared. Julius explain that one of the babies would be the savior of the human race, while one would be the savior for the CHUDs, but no one knew which was which. Chugga then reached out to the babies and power began to flow through him. His train conductor’s hat then transferred onto one baby, and his long flowing CHUD hair to the other!
The Commodore and Madame Swampass were in the spin class at Curves. Swampass mentioned she had seen Julius feeding the babies his terrible smoothies, and Commodore panicked and rushed out of the class, berating the chipper spin teacher on his way.
Percy and Liddy were in the mattress store, ready to have a romantic evening to get pregnant. Percy explained that he finally knew what his penis was for and climbed onto the bed, face down. They didn’t get pregnant.
Orange Julius brought the babies back to The Commodore and braced himself for the result. The Commodore was outraged at what had happened to the twins and demanded that Julius take the one with the CHUD hair and drown it immediately.
Orange Julius was bouncing the CHUD baby on his knee at the mall fountain, after doing some “freestyle singing” for it. Liddy arrived and complemented Julius’ singing and asked to hold the baby. She urged Julius to follow his dream of freestyle singing and that she would watch the baby while he focused on his career. Julius ran off, leaving Liddy with the child.
Julius was on the mall stage, freestyle singing for the assembled crowds. The Commodore arrived and congratulated Julius for having the guts to drown the CHUD baby like he asked. Just then, Percy and Liddy arrived to say goodbye to all, holding the CHUD baby they were stealing. The Commodore tried to intervene, but he was halted by Dr. Anomaly and Chugga, because the couple were the perfect ones to raise “the Anti-Christ”!
Read the episode 12 recap at this link.
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