Special guest star Kevin McDonald gets a piggy back ride during the finale of ‘Scandal!’

Dad’s Garage Theatre Company staged the final episode of its wacky  improv soap opera last weekend, and we have the recap. ‘Scandal!’ was a big success for Dad’s Garage, becoming its best selling show this summer.

The big, shocking finale of Scandal! began with Jelilah Dixon finally out of the hospital and desperate to see and hold her beloved twin infants. However, when she arrived, The Commodore was only holding one baby. He gleefully told her the other one had been drowned because it was a CHUD. Jelilah was horrified and snatched the remaining baby away from The Commodore.

Orange Julius was working hard on a major barricade to keep the CHUDs at bay – he overturned a small café chair. Just then, Scientist Chris Cooper arrived. He revealed he was responsible for accidentally creating the CHUD virus, and that he had come to try and cure it. All he needed was… ALL the science facts!

Todd Farchell and his wife Linda arrived to meet David David David, Todd’s recently discovered father and grandfather to Lil’ Daisy. However, they stood on either side of the chair barricade, unable to reach one another. They each tried to get past it, one tunneling under and the other leaping over, and they ended up once again on opposite sides. Stalemate.

Sparky Reinhardt, General of the CHUD Army, visited his old pal Oral Hanks to deliver a warning – leave the mall or die. First, though, they got off on a tangent about their love for the Michael Keaton movie,  “Beetlejuice.”  Great characters, super effects, fun music… who doesn’t enjoy that movie?

Lark Darkcastle ran into Chris Cooper in the mall, and recognized him from high school. Turns out Lark was a huge bully to Chris and punched him in the face all the time. With Chris now serving as maybe the only hope to save the mall, Lark agreed to serve his debt for bullying by becoming Chris’ slave. Chris immediately leapt onto Lark’s back and spurred him off stage like a horse.

Chris, now being carried by Lark, arrived at The Southern Belle Depot to inspect Jelilah’s remaining baby. Jelilah was breastfeeding and remarked that the baby was feeding so hungrily he was draining her life-force from her body. Lark speculated that this was due to the child being The Chosen One!

Orange Julius and David David David were worried about the impending battle between humans and CHUDs. They vowed to stay together and somehow escape the mall. Julius had heard that Oral was planning to leave, so they went in search of him.

Meanwhile, Sparky met with fellow CHUDs Todd and Linda Farchell, who were frantic to reclaim their daughter. Sparky intoned that “A war is coming,” and told the Farchells that they would have to choose sides, and that their daughter might not survive the battle.

At the same time, Lil’ Daisy sought out Lark, who still had Chris Cooper all over him, for some final training before the big fight. Chris gave Lark a break, but told him to lie face down on the floor the whole time. Chris stated that he might be able to avert the war, but he would need all of Daisy’s CHUD facts that she knew. Unfortunately, Daisy drew a big blank.

Later, Daisy was by the mall fountain, and she made a wish for her parents’ deaths to be quick and painless when she finally has to kill them. As if on cue, Todd and Linda Farchell arrived. Linda went to give Daisy a hug, but Daisy stunned her and then killed her with two shattering kicks to the groin.

Jelilah and The Commodore were feeding the baby when, suddenly, Sparky appeared. As he threatened the pair with doom, suddenly the baby leapt into action and jumped onto Sparky. Though it seemed Sparky might have the upper hand early when he repeatedly slammed the baby face first into the ground, it quickly turned the tables and completely bit open Sparky’s neck, mortally wounding him.

Todd Farchell was giving his wife a CHUD burial – cremation atop a funeral pyre, when a careless toss of a match lit the entire room on fire. Proclaiming “Oh, Crackers!”, Todd rolled his wife into the flames and ran for it.

Jelilah Dixon stumbled onto the stage… too weak to walk. She gladly gave the last of her lifeforce to her baby. The baby then stood up and began to walk away, when Lil’ Daisy appeared. She challenged the baby to a fight, and a tense, action packed battle right out of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” happened.

Just when it seemed that the battle was reaching it’s peak, the baby called, “Wait!”, and then began to sing Harry Belefonte’s “Banana Boat Song (Day-O)” from “Beetlejuice.” This catchy tune soon caused any and all conflict that had happened this entire season to be immediately resolved. As they stood over Jelilah’s body, Todd Farchell suggested that also singing “Jump in the Line (Shake Senora)” would bring her back to life. Sure enough, it did, and everyone sang and hugged as the 2016 Human-CHUD War was finally over.

THE END (Or is it?!)

Collin Kelley

Collin Kelley has been the editor of Atlanta Intown for two decades and has been a journalist and freelance writer for 35 years. He’s also an award-winning poet and novelist.